It’s a lot of fun to catch spelling errors on menus and
signs. Here’s a sign I smiled at when I passed it this summer:
Having spent most of my career as an editor, I pretty much can't help noticing errors. I for sure want the T-shirt I saw last summer that read “I am silently correcting your grammar.” So, yeah, I'm the grammar police.
But a lot of people, not just editors like moi, are language
nerds. My husband, for example (a mere engineer), has a real thing about
redundancy. He rolls his eyes when he hears someone on the radio say “past history,” "favorable approval,” or “merge together.”
And he has little tolerance for the benighted soul who might descend into the Swamp of Redundancy and utter “future weather forecast”
or “pre-order.”
I myself savor malapropisms—saying the wrong word because it
sort of sounds like the word you really meant. In Shakespeare’s As You Like It, the watchman Dogberry has
a ton of them, such as these:
“Our watch, sir, have
indeed comprehended two auspicious persons . . .” (a two-fer)
and
“O villain! Thou wilt be condemned into everlasting
redemption for this.”
Some audience members feel compelled to make sure their
neighbors catch such errors. More than once I’ve been in the audience when
someone hears a malapropism such as those of Dogberry, elbows his companion, and, with a little snorty laugh, says in a stage
whisper “Redemption!” [snort snort.] I guess you could say these people are grammar police who aren't satisfied with catching a criminal—they want others to participate in some sort of grammar citizen arrest.
But spoken malapropisms like those in plays are chump change
compared to malapropisms in writing. I mean, anyone can say the wrong thing—we all misspeak at times. But putting a
malapropism in writing is rich fodder for any of us whose language police antennae
are twirling.
I culled these malapropisms from memos and reports written by physicians during the days when I worked for a medical society:
- There is a true medical malpractice crisis brooding.
- We appreciated your inciteful comments.
- This question predisposes that you ask the medical staff.
- The patient presented with an exasperated condition.
- The survey results are skewered.
- This article has several examples of duplicitous referencing.
- We hope establishing these sections will spurn increased interest and activity.
- Maybe my predecessor will consider incorporation.
- The basic tenant of an ambulance system is speed of transport.
- The speaker preceded to explain legislative issues to the group.
- We should develop a monogram on stress in emergency medicine.
- This patient was a compulsory drinker.
- Thank you for your consideration and patients.
- It's important to have authority for everything within your germane.
- The greenery and beautiful flowers created the elusion of an oasis.
- HMOs are in the mist of a long process of evolution.
- The moderator may include one personal antidote about the legislator.
- Doctors are scrabbling for patients.
- Does that comment invoke any further questions?
But while there are those of us who might be rolling our eyes at the radio, or silently correcting the grammar of those about us, what is the right thing to do when we ourselves are speaking and the correct grammar or the correct pronunciation might be off-putting to the listener? And what do we say about the fact that "correct" grammar and spelling are a moving target, so that "data is" used to be wrong, but now it's not. Except when it is.
More topics for future Nairam Chronicles.
